Ok, this time it will be a real can of worms. Why does beauty matters soooo much in our modern times? Why did it matter so much for ancient Greeks and Romans? First some quotes:
Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran
Against Him those women sin who torment their skin with potions, stain their cheeks with rouge and extend the line of their eyes with black coloring. Doubtless they are dissatisfied with God's plastic skill. In their own persons they convict and censure the Artificer of all things. ~Tertullian
That which is striking and beautiful is not always good, but that which is good is always beautiful. ~Ninon de L'Enclos
It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness. ~Leo Tolstoy
There is a road from the eye to the heart that does not go through the intellect. ~Gilbert Keith Chesterton
I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want - an adorable pancreas? ~Jean Kerr, The Snake Has All the Lines
Beauty is indeed a good gift of God; but that the good may not think it a great good, God dispenses it even to the wicked. ~Saint Augustine
Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor
Image via Wikipedia - a real beauty of a manuscriptNow my questions:
- why, in your opinion, beautiful people get better grades, earn better salaries and rise more rapidly to important positions than their plain-looking colleagues (just don't say it is not the truth because it is) ?
- why some people delude themselves and their children that you can be ugly and still succeed easily if only you are clever/good/intelligent/hard-working/pious enough etc...?
- what should an ugly person do in a society where good looks are so coveted that people practically worship them as they can open almost every door?
- is plastic surgery a solution for ugly ducklings?
Biologically, beauty, defined by having even features, smooth skin, bright eyes, no obvious sign of disease or disfigurement, and a good figure, is a signifier of good genes. That's the universal attraction, that's why it's so difficult to resist. And because we use beauty as an indicator of underlying good genes, that and wealth/power are the two things we subconsciously prioritise in a potential mate to try and ensure our offspring will also be in demand (see any Jane Austen novel!)
ReplyDeleteBut beauty isn't everything. I once went out with a guy who was incredibly good looking, extremely fit, six pack etc - all of my girlfriends fancied him, one woman tried to get off with him at my birthday party (I hadn't even invited her!) - I have never felt so insecure in a relationship in my life.
I don't get it. I never will.
ReplyDeleteThe relation between beauty and genes must be strong indeed but it can sometimes be deceptive, especially when we deal with mental rather than physicall illnesses. I've read about mentally ill people who also were very pretty/handsome (and I don't mean fiction novels like "Cousin Kate" here).
ReplyDeleteWhy we react to beauty in such a strong, decisive manner? If anybody solved that mystery they would be given the Nobel Prize for sure! Something in-build in our DNA must be responsible for it. Most people know that they shouldn't look at somebody's appearance only (sometimes they shouldn't look at somebody's appearance at all!)but still they repeat the same mistake - if a person is pretty it must be good (for me, for my business, for anything!)
Ok - any advice for those beauty-challenged around us ?
You can always make the most of what you were given with a good haircut, eat well, stay fit, wash, moisturize and wear appropriate but attractive clothing. When you see people schlepping around with their bellies hanging out over their sweatpants and stringy, unkempt hair, it doesn't matter what they started off with for genes, they will not look good.
ReplyDeleteHowever, no matter what you do, you can't turn back the clock and there is prejudice against old people.
I had a boyfriend once who women would hit on even with me there. What are those girls thinking? And he was a bit nutty too.
Funnily enough those very attractive men and women are not necessarily the happiest. They are often victims of their own good looks, being treated simply like objects of somebody else's passion. I wonder what your boyfriends, Tracy and the Red Witch thought in such situations as you described above: somebody trying to hit on them when they were in company of their current girlfriend, even celebrating her birthday. Were they simply flattered or maybe a bit embarassed?
ReplyDeleteI once talked about it with a very handsome guy (fortunately not my boyfriend)and he admitted that his own attractiveness he perceived as actually a hindrance, not an advantage. It's true that he could pick up any girl he wanted but these more sensible ones ditched him in no time (he was being a bit tipsy so totally able to give me even more detail).
When you see people schlepping around with their bellies hanging out over their sweatpants and stringy, unkempt hair, it doesn't matter what they started off with for genes, they will not look good.
Very true but unkempt look might be even a proof that something is more seriously wrong with them. I mean depression (and I can tell you a thing or two about it as well).
there is prejudice against old people.
It's worth another discussion, don't you think?
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ReplyDeleteI wonder what your boyfriends, Tracy and the Red Witch thought in such situations as you described above: somebody trying to hit on them when they were in company of their current girlfriend, even celebrating her birthday. Were they simply flattered or maybe a bit embarrassed.
ReplyDeleteHe was pretty angry - said he felt like a piece of meat (so at least that's one man who knows what we often feel like!). He really didn't appreciate being pawed like that, only being appreciated for what he had safely tucked into his boxers.
This is really about body image, and men still haven't got nearly as much pressure on them to look good, as women have - for men good looks are a plus, for women good looks are supposedly essential. Although the only person I've ever met who has admitted to having a few nips and tucks is a man. But then he was always trying to fool women into thinking he was fifteen - twenty years younger than he really was.
He was pretty angry - said he felt like a piece of meat
ReplyDeleteA sensible reaction - if I had been in his place I would have felt terrible, totally ashamed and very very angry. Fortunately I've never been considered pretty.
Although the only person I've ever met who has admitted to having a few nips and tucks is a man. But then he was always trying to fool women into thinking he was fifteen - twenty years younger than he really was.
Well, that's curious indeed! I've always though that the vast majority of plastic surgery fans are women - you know, a bit of liposuction here, a breast implant there, some botox for your forehead...has he actually managed to persuade anybody he was fifteen? Seems a bit far-fetched goal to tell you the truth...
No, he was in his sixties (I think - every time he mentioned his age to me, he added two years - he started off trying to claim he was 49, which I didn't believe).
ReplyDeleteThe guy was a lothario, and he hated it that he was getting too old to pull (of course, now, he'd be on the internet trying to con women into thinking he was only 40 or something, but this was pre the World Wide Web). Plus he'd got hold of a fake passport so he could go and work very lucratively in Saudi Arabia a few years before (apparently, you have/had to be under 45 to work out there) It's one way of beating an age bar, I guess.
Plus he'd got hold of a fake passport so he could go and work very lucratively in Saudi Arabia a few years before (apparently, you have/had to be under 45 to work out there) It's one way of beating an age bar, I guess.
ReplyDeleteThe ingenuity of some men (and women) will never cease to amaze me.