Movie review: Catacombs by Tomm Coker, David Elliot

Directed by: Tomm Coker,David Elliot 

Screenplay: Tomm Coker,David Elliot 

Release year:  2008  

Genre: Horror 

Cast:

Victoria: Shannyn Sossamon

Carolyn: Alecia Moore (Pink)

Jean Michel: Mihai Stanescu

Nico: Radu Micu

Henry: Emil Hostina

MPAA: Rated R ( strong violence, terror and disturbing images, language, some nudity and drug content)

Synopsis:

Victoria, a shy, young woman, is visiting her sister, Carolyn, studying in Paris. She doesn’t enjoy the trip as much as she should so Carolyn invites her to a rave party organized clandestinely in one of the biggest catacombs in Europe, straight below the lovely capital of France. It is arranged by Carolyn's Parisian friends, two guys called Jean Michel and Nico. Carolyn claims the party can change the neurotic, oversensitive Victoria’s life and she takes her sis shopping for clothes so Victoria, not wanting to be a spoilsport, decides to attend against her better judgment.

 During the party Victoria is given absinthe ('no, it's not alcohol!' ROFL) and told a kind of urban legend about a cult of dark virgin and an Antichrist living in the catacombs and hunting people for food. The story seems to be completely spurious from the very beginning but, as Vicki gazes at the classically beautiful face of Jean Michel (really, the guy must have some Greek blood in him), you get the impression she would believe anything that boy cared to tell her and then some. After a while poor Victoria feels she's had enough of the party (Jean Michel's disappeared) - she tries to get out on her own. She gets lost and witnesses her sister being attacked by a man wearing a mask of a goat. The girl, sure that Carolyn has been killed, panics and runs away helter-skelter with fatal results, not only due to an unpredictable intervention of the French Police.

My impressions:

The first line of the film is a voice-over: "My sister sent me a postcard, all it said was 'Come to Paris. It'll be good for you.' 48 hours after I arrived, she and everyone I'd met were dead." It didn't impress me at all. I thought: "another one of these mediocre B-class thrillers" and I didn't expect any fireworks or indeed much fun. Maybe because of it I was in for a nice surprise.

Despite the obviously limited budget and lack of any special effects the movie was really decent and it seemed real, not like other thrillers also allegedly based on true events. It was intelligently done as the director didn’t try to stun you with too much gore or too many horrible atrocities. Of course it is a thriller so you see a fair amount of really nasty accidents and murders but they didn’t go over the top with it (a major sin of B-class movies- too much ketchup or raspberry juice or whatever they use nowadays to imitate blood).

The ordeal of Victoria is something really scary, especially for a person who, like me, understands agoraphobia and claustrophobia pretty well. Believe me or not but even wild horses wouldn’t drag me to a catacomb party and not because I don’t like music or dancing. However it was nice to watch Vicki’s struggle – you wouldn’t believe such a delicate, sheltered wallflower to put up so much fight and to be so clever when facing an ultimate challenge – running for your life.

The catacombs of Paris really exist and they are an incredible sight to behold – even the glimpses shown in this movie might make you come out in goose pimples (and, depending on your tastes, you will love them or hate them). One thing is sure - after watching this film you will certainly change a bit your perception of Paris – it is not only a city of light or a city of love or an overpriced French tourist trap full of old stuff and rude Parisians but also a very old place with fascinating history and many mysteries. Also, like most of big cities around the world, it is a dangerous place. If you are alone you might get into all sort of troubles and not knowing the language, oh la, la, ça ne sera ni beau ni facile.

There was one stupid scene I didn’t like. Just one. Imagine yourself - right at the very end our brave Victoria emerges from the catacombs. She looks like something an old, arthritic, half-blind cat might drag in – she is dead tired, filthy, bloody, she wears just a flimsy dress covered with all kind of muck and body fluids, undoubtedly smelling of l’eau de catacombs mixed with l’eau de BO. What does she do? She jumps into a taxi and orders: ‘to the airport’. And the taxi driver, after one mistrustful look, starts the engine. Not even one single question. Oh really?

Well, just one short scene and I have several remarks. First: a filthy woman without a BAG (so most probably without money unless she keeps a stash in her combat boots) would be more or less gently asked by any experienced taxi driver to get out of his car and go to hell. Ok, out of sheer pity he might have driven her to the nearest police station or a hospital but only after some serious cajolery and pleading. Secondly: any sensible person in Victoria’s shoes would have returned to her sister’s lodgings first to rest a bit, have a shower and collect her belongings. Let’s face it - without a passport and money, not to mention at least hand luggage, you really have no business at any airport and it didn’t seem Vicki took these items to that fateful party. Not to mention the fact that with a bloody, scratched face and wearing a dirty, smelly excuse for a dress you have a cat in hell’s chance to get through any security check. Finally let me tell you that the lovely city of Paris has more than one airport in its vicinity so telling a taxi driver ‘to the airport’should have immediately elicited a logical response: ‘Which one, honey? Le Bourget, Orly or Charles de Gaulle?’

Final verdict:

A very decent psychological thriller with a slick twist at the end and Paris in the background. No rubber monsters around! Still the last cut kind of ruined it for me a bit - such a stupid blunder!

Here you have the link to a real-life rescue story of three youths lost in Paris catacombs. Yes, it can happen to the curious.