Monday Can Be Fun (but usually isn't) # 2

Hi everybody!

It's Monday, how are you? 

Bad Monday morning (or maybe evening) in Ireland

One Monday Paddy and Seamus were walking home from the pub.  Paddy says to Seamus, 'What a beautiful night, look at the moon.'

Seamus stops and looks at Paddy, 'You are wrong, that's not the moon, that's the sun.' Both started arguing for a while when they come upon a drunk walking in the other direction, so they stopped him.

'Sir, could you please help settle our argument?Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's shining. Is it the moon or the sun?'

The drunk thought about the problem a bit, looked at the sky, looked at them, and finally said:

'Sorry, I am stranger here myself.'

Shop Signs - they have been undoubtedly written one Monday morning...by somebody feeling great...

Outside a dress shop, Hong Kong: LADIES HAVE FITS UPSTAIRS.

Tailor shop, Rhodes: ORDER YOUR SUMMERS SUIT. BECAUSE IS BIG RUSH, WE WILL EXECUTE CUSTOMERS IN STRICT ROTATION.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room: IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.

Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

At a Budapest zoo: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS.
IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY (I suppose it is one of the perks of being a zoo guard - you get plenty of food for free...)

If you want to have a bigger chance for a great Monday, prepare beforehand...

A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible straight out of the car saleroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 90 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
‘Amazing!’ he thought as he flew down the M40, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.’ I can get away from him – no problem!’ thought the elderly gent as he floored it to 110 mph, then 120, then 130 mph.

Suddenly, he thought, ‘What on earth am I doing? I’m too old for this nonsense! I can have an accident and die prematurely!’ So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver’s side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, ‘Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I’m taking off for the weekend. What's more, I want to go back to work on Monday with my conscience clear and with a smile. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.’

The man looked very seriously at the policeman and replied, ‘Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back.’

‘Have a good day, Sir,’ said the policeman.

It could be my portrait early in the morning on Monday

Have a great Monday anyway!