Welcome to Thoughtful Thursday!
This week I would like to ask you whether or not you believe in love at first sight - maybe you have even experienced it?
There must be a reason why love at first sight is such a common trope in Western literature (especially YA novels) - in many books we often read how a person, character, or speaker feels romantic attraction for a stranger on the first sight of them. Elaborated upon by poets and critics from the Greek world on, it has become also one of the most powerful tropes in Western fiction. Romeo and Julietta is one of the most widely known examples (and you can quote many many more).
Research has shown two bases for love at first sight. The first is that the attractiveness of a person can be very quickly determined, with the average time in one study being 0.13 seconds. The second is that the first few minutes of a relationship have shown to be predictive of the relationship's future success, more so than what two people have in common or whether they like each other. In such a subjective area research and scientists are one thing, your personal experiences are quite another, though.
Now some quotes I found about this topic (and love in general):
"What's so remarkable about love at first sight? It's when people have been looking at each other for years that it becomes remarkable" ~Unknown
You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip. ~Jonathan Carroll, "Outside the Dog Museum"
Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. ~Boethius, The Consolation of Philosophy, A.D. 524
Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses. ~Lord Dewar
A lover is a man who tries to be more amiable than it is possible for him to be. ~Nicholas de Chamfort
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? ~Author Unknown
Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart. ~Author Unknown
Now please let me know your thoughts!
Boetius teaching his students via Wikipedia
Boetius teaching his students via Wikipedia
I believe in lust at first sight, because how can you love someone you do not know? He might be a crazy assed rapist.
ReplyDeleteAnyway first time I saw bf I was all wow, damn he is cute! My next thought was "why didn't I dress better?!"
I was attracted by him and then we talked for hours :) It grew
Well, I've never experienced it!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you Blodeuedd - you might be attracted to somebody because you admire his/her good looks but it is definitely not love. I've always wanted to read a plausible play/novel about what would have happened if Romeo and Juliet hadn't died.
ReplyDeleteTracy it seems everything before you ! ;)
No! I'm not a believer in love at first sight. Definitely lust at first sight, but not love. I'm sure in high school I did, but I think everyone wants that kind of prince carry me off into the sunset kind of pretend ending in high school. But, then I grew up, and call me cynical, but how could anyone be truly in love with someone on first sight?!
ReplyDeleteI mean, there are so many guys who I wouldn't mind getting lusty with (if I wasn't married that is, sorry Hubby!), but there have been other guys who have hit that nerve and then.....I got to know them. I love the saying "Looks can be deceiving". These are the guys you want to bash over the head.
It's one of the current things in a lot of novels driving me up the wall: insta-love. Give me character and love development and I will give you my high rating in return. Great post Anachronist!!!
Jen
In the Closet With a Bibliophile
And a great comment, Jen thanks!!!
ReplyDeleteI agree especially with the last of presented quotes:
Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart.
I appreciate it deeply when in a book the main hero and/or heroine learn that precious lesson. If you are to understand the way somebody is special you must get to know him/her better, especially find out more about their least pleasant side (as everybody has one). It takes time and effort. Appearances can be horribly deceptive. The short life of Irma Grese, summarized by me in one of my essays, Beautiful beast can be a perfect illustration of that saying.
I believe in lust at first sight. I think that initial reaction is what captures your attention, but not the heart. Not yet. I think my favorite quote came from the movie, Captain Corelli's Mandolin (which is slightly different from the book, but I haven't read that yet) that deals with this subject specifically:
ReplyDelete"When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!"
I don't really believe you can love someone at first sight. Love means loving the person in their entirety - meaning you need to know the person. Those first seconds are pure lust :)
ReplyDeleteMy humble opinion, of course!
Melissa (Books and Things) thanks for providing a nice quote - it is so very true! I don't remember reading it in the book but it is in perfect accordance with its tone. True love is caring about somebody despite his/her many faults and shortcomings after you found out about them.
ReplyDeleteMelissa - I couldn't agree more.
I experienced it. When I met my husband. Before he even spoke to me, I knew he was the one. Don't ask me how or why, he wasn't even my type.
ReplyDeleteLol thanks The Red Witch for sharing it with us! I experienced it as well but I didn't marry the guy and it was my luck I didn't. From that time I don't trust my own eyes or instincts.
ReplyDeleteLove these quotes. I would be the one who trips as I run into my lover's arms, and somehow manages to take him out in the process.
ReplyDeleteNot sure about love at first sight...definitely lust at first sight.
demitrialunetta.blogspot.com
Thanks Demitria for commenting, I know also a thing or two about tripping in awkward moments! ;)
ReplyDeleteI have another story. When I was organizing my mother's photo albums for her, she pointed to a photo of herself and said that this was the one this friend showed my father. They were set up on a blind date and, when my father saw the photo of my mother, he declared that he was going to marry this girl. I confirmed it with my father who was reluctant to admit it. They divorced after 20 years so no happy ever after but then who ever gets that.
ReplyDeleteI still think it is amazing.
Oooh a truly amazing story, thanks The Red Witch! Twenty years is quite a long period of time! How very romantic!
ReplyDelete