Thick as Thieves by Tali Spencer

Synopsis:
After Vorgell the barbarian fucks himself with a unicorn horn, he ends up in a cell with Maddog, a pretty young thief. It’s lust at first sight for Vorgell—but honestly, he can’t help it. Unicorn horn is a potent aphrodisiac, and now he can’t stop thinking about sex. Luckily, Madd is one male witch who knows how to put Vorgell’s new magical body to good use when he tricks Vorgell into a kiss that helps them escape.

Vorgell may desire sex in general—and Madd in particular—but Madd has no intention of being screwed by a man twice his size. He has problems of his own, including an enchanted collar that causes him to desire his most hated enemy. He wants that collar off as soon as possible, but that requires stealing a basilisk egg from the castle they just escaped.

Drawn together by lust and magic, the two men join forces and soon find themselves up to their necks in witches, wizards, and trouble. Vorgell and Madd might just be perfect for each other, but first they have to survive long enough to find out.

After reading the very first line of the blurb, I knew I had to read this book. If you haven’t read it yet, here’s why:

After Vorgell the barbarian fucks himself with a unicorn horn, he ends up in a cell with Maddog, a pretty young thief.

If that right there isn’t the hook that’s grabbed you, I don’t know what is. It promises a unicorn horn dildo, a barbarian, and a thief. What else could you possibly ask from a fantasy m/m story? Witches and Wizards? It has those too. Creative place names and adventures? Likewise. Witty one-liners and loveable characters? Done and done. You can also add adorable, deadly pets on the list. I’m not even going to complain about the female characters.

It’s true that the world-building has men in somewhat a disadvantage and that most women are hostile towards Madd in the beginning, but as the story progresses the reasons are revealed. Those reasons are real, based on characterisations and the story history, not flimsy deus ex machinas.

Everyone is flawed and no one is simply the best in anything. Even Vorgell has his difficulties. They’re average people by their own standards with individual fears and desires. They have limitations and rules they must follow. There’s death and suffering too. And significantly fewer inappropriate erections than you’d expect from a book with a sex magic inflicted cock. That’s another testament to a strong characterisation.

Don’t misunderstand me, there’s sex. There’s oral and anal, but in the end it’s not the driving force of the story. It’s a convenient set up. One that surprises you again and again with its implications. Or maybe that’s just me. I can be slow at times.

Be careful with this book. It pulls you under, makes you slightly uncomfortable—in the good way—and has you holding in your laughter. If you’re lucky you’re in a place where you don’t have to hold it in and you can make as much noise as you want. And no, I don’t think it’s just me.

I highly recommend you read Thick as Thieves.

Rameau's Review Archive: Heart of the Druid Laird by Barbara Longley

Rameau's ramblings: Originally posted on Goodreads on November 17th 2011.

Synopsis:
Cursed with immortality, Dermot MacKay craves death. To lift the faerie curse placed upon him and his men over 1,600 years ago, he must return the soul of his reincarnated wife to the exact place and time of her murder. But her soul is currently residing in the very modern Sidney St. George--and first he has to convince her to accompany him to Scotland.

Sidney doesn't believe Dermot's wild claims of immortality and rebirth, yet she cannot deny that she is drawn to the sexy Scot. Nor can she explain the sense of deja vu his touch elicits. Desperate for answers, she agrees to go with him--only to learn too late that to help the man she loves is to lose him forever...


Heart of the Druid Laird by Barbara Longley


Critique should always have both good and bad points. I'll try.

The premise looked so promising. Although, I'm not a fan of fairies in general I thought this just might be the book to change my mind, and in that Heart of the Druid Laird succeeded. The fairies were easily the best part of this book.

See, it's working. Good news comes first and there's more.

I also really liked the structure of the plot. The author obviously knows how to plan events ahead while to give herself some room for manoeuvring. All the plot twists were well set up and logical and the pacing was decent. There were no out of the blue surprises behind the corners, but there was that telltale glow that warns about a speeding car.

And I really enjoyed Tommy and Zoe and their little side romance. They made the perfect addition so as not to burden the main couple with too much of the background reveal. Info dump nicely avoided and a golden star to the author.

Unfortunately, this was it. Now on to the bad.

Let's start with the ridiculous. For a while now I've been aware of the fact that historical fiction is just that, fiction. As much as I'd like to think all men of old were nearly two metres tall and build like muscle towers, I know they weren't. Their nutritional status wouldn't have allowed it. I can suspend belief for one or three exceptionally well-built historical heroes at the time and enjoy the fluffy romance while they swoop their tiny, fragile heroines of their feet. But there's a limit to this good will of mine, and that limit is five. I find five 1650-year-old, extra tall hunks walking down the street in formation ridiculous. When the number is upped to thirteen, it becomes absurd.

Shall we move on to the language then? Longley didn't overdo the Scottish accent apart from a handful of lines in dialogue, but the little touches she chose to use to imply the accent didn't work well for me. I stumbled over every single no' (not) even when I managed to get through the lines of heavier brogue.

This, however, was not my pet peeve. That honour falls on the cursing with all the effings and soddings and such. For majority of the book everyone acts like their mother is eavesdropping just behind the corner ready to rap them on the knuckles for saying a rude word. Then when things get tense and the climax approaches they suddenly start dropping asses, arses, and shits. A few pages later, after the threat has been resolved, they go back to being prissy. Continuity, this book has none.

None of these little mishaps are as dire failure as is the utterly bollocksed characterisation. I'm at a loss what to make of these characters. They continuously say and claim to think one thing, and then go on acting in the exact opposite manner. Dermot is supposed to get Sidney to Scotland to lift the curse and not get tangled up and hurt the girl's feelings, but he promptly starts wooing her. Later on, he blames her for distracting him before he could tell her the truth, which, might I add, would have simplified the plot substantially. She's supposed to be this hard boiled single woman who doesn't date or even look at a man twice, but she melts into a puddle of goo just from looking at him. You can imagine the level of sexual attraction when he starts to speak.

Yeah, not so much. Didn't work for me. Sidney's crying fits and whiplash reactions to the truth (once finally shared with her) make her the first character to earn a place on my new vapid-insipid-divas-and-ingénues shelf. Until her, I hadn't felt tempted enough to make one.

The bad characterisation extends to Zoe and David, Sidney's friend, and brother, who basically act like a deus ex machina to get the unhappy couple together. Aside from Tommy, the muscle gang doesn't win in the personality lotto. Lachlan gets closest with few hits.

What really ends up killing this book for me, though, is the manufactured drama. With a set up like this, a reincarnation, a cursed immortality, and a choice between loving and letting go, there's no need for all the fights originated from miscommunication. Dermot and Sidney have enough on their plate with a fairy princess and their growing feelings for each other interfering with the lifting of the curse, so they don't really need to be getting their wires crossed too.

A good critique should always end up on a positive note.

I can't complain about the grammar or editing.


You can also read this review on Sandra's My Reading Nook-blog.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher through NetGalley.

Rameau's Review Archive: Dark Space by Lisa Henry

Originally posted on Goodreads February 1st 2013.

Synopsis:
Brady Garrett needs to go home. He’s a conscripted recruit on Defender Three, one of a network of stations designed to protect the Earth from alien attack. He's also angry, homesick, and afraid. If he doesn’t get home he’ll lose his family, but there’s no way back except in a body bag.

Cameron Rushton needs a heartbeat. Four years ago Cam was taken by the Faceless — the alien race that almost destroyed Earth. Now he’s back, and when the doctors make a mess of getting him out of stasis, Brady becomes his temporary human pacemaker. Except they’re sharing more than a heartbeat: they’re sharing thoughts, memories, and some very vivid dreams.

Not that Brady’s got time to worry about his growing attraction to another guy, especially the one guy in the universe who can read his mind. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just biochemistry and electrical impulses. It doesn’t change the truth: Brady’s alone in the universe.

Now the Faceless are coming and there’s nothing anyone can do. You can’t stop your nightmares. Cam says everyone will live, but Cam’s probably a traitor and a liar like the military thinks. But that’s okay. Guys like Brady don’t expect happy endings.


Dark Space by Lisa Henry

This review can also be found on Book Girl of Mur-y-Castell-blog.


Are you interested in reading an M/M, scifi, military, mind connection, mostly character study book with creepy angels aliens?

That’s how I recommended this book in a tweet the day after I finished reading it. I threw after a warning about sibilant hisses galore but forgot to mention the rape triggers. I also might have persuaded someone by saying “you’ll like the ending” vaguely implying I was less than satisfied. And I was, but it didn’t stop me from thoroughly enjoying everything else.

Dark Space is set in an unknown future where humans fight a terrifying alien race called the Faceless. There are space stations that orbit the Sun (presumably) at the edges of our solar system and keep watch. These stations are manned—quite literally—only by human men because women are too precious to be put in danger like that. This was the world building detail that most annoyed me, but if the alternative was reading about poorly constructed female characters I’d suspend my disbelief for a short book any day.

Some of the world building details I liked were every single thing that made Brady Garrett the nineteen-year-old conscripted recruit three years into his ten year military service—fifteen should he choose to become an officer—trying to keep his head down, and out of trouble while helping out at the medical bay. I loved the idea of stark class differences, refugee camps, factories, and all the problems that were only implied instead of infodumped on the reader. That includes the alien race, which—as creepy as they were—was nothing compared to the Weeping Angels.

Cameron Rushton is an officer—three or seven years older than Brady depending on how you look at it—and a prisoner of war who has just been returned to home. Or as close to it as Defender Three, Brady’s space station, is. The doctors make a mistake and Brady becomes a temporary human pacemaker to the man who no one trusts. They’re locked together in a room and have to spend prolonged periods of time together adapting to this new situation. Their connection forces them to learn much about themselves and about each other.

Because it’s an M/M novel, sex is a big part of that learning process. And because I liked it, you can expect to read about dark themes, and horrible things being done to the characters.

The pacing is pretty much perfect. Whenever I started to think “that’s a bit much” the author would make shift that not only made sense within the story but also advanced the overall storyline. There weren’t any unnecessary scenes or exposition for the sake of exposition. The repetition that was there—like Brady thinking of his home and family—felt natural to the cycle of human psyche and the way humans think. We get stuck on something, move on, and come back to it when the time is right again. Brady also didn’t accept the mind melt connection unreservedly. He had doubts and he fought it, but he also learned to trust his own judgement about the connection.

And the heartrending goodbye… Well, I’ll let you read about that on your own.

Review: Her Singapore Fling by Kelly Hunter

Synopsis:
In desperate need of protection, Jianne Xang-Bennett reluctantly turns to her estranged husband, martial arts expert Jacob Bennett, for help. But there are problems: they've been separated for twelve years and cannot be in the same room together without arguing or ripping each other's clothes off--often at the same time But Jacob will go to extremes for those he loves, and Jianne is the only woman who can bring this honorable warrior to his knees. Can they delve beneath their red-hot desire and blazing anger to find the love that has always been hiding?
 
Last night, after finishing this book, I made a few notes on what I wanted to write in my review. This morning, I looked at those notes and couldn’t think of anything meaningful to say. This book is forgettable. Entertaining but forgettable.

There were things I liked. I liked what Hunter did with the fragile Japanese bowls to show how Jianne could be both delicate and durable that she couldn’t be broken as easily as Jake thought. I liked that the twelve year separation had obviously changed both and that they weren’t as naive they’d been when they got married. I liked how Jake mostly got over his issues with money and how Jianne learned to talk about her own needs. Everything wasn’t solved but they made enough progress for the compulsory happy ever after to be believable. I liked how she took more and more control of the situation and their relationship as the story progressed, but that he wasn’t completely pushed aside either. It was the give and take kind of relationship.

I liked the brutal fight in the dojo. That’s what tipped the scales from a three star rating to four stars for me. Without that near death experience everything Jake thought about himself would have been lip service without anything backing up his characterisation. Hunter showed a very real flaw in this unbeatable fighter.

As for things I didn’t like, the writing. It wasn’t exactly four star calibre with the clichéd descriptions of clothes and characters, but I managed to push through thanks to the story itself. The sex scenes I ended up skipping or speed-reading, so I don’t have a list of bad smut words to attach here.

It was a nice brain holiday between more serious books.