Series review: Black Dagger Brotherhood by J.R. Ward

First of all:
here you can find the titles of novels as listed on Goodreads, available in Black Dagger Brotherhood series. And much more. You might notice that the series enjoys overall a very high ranking - that's why I was lured into trying it. I skimmed just three books and surrendered to the inevitable - each one of these was for me a DNF of a kind. Why?

My impressions:

It is easy to recognize one of these series from the first book. The author introduces you to a group of available men and/or women – they might constitute a big, extended family or a unit of fighters/warriors or a pack of werewolves – relatively young, close-knit, highly trained and rather secretive. In this case it is a coven of male vampires called the Black Dagger Brotherhood led by Wrath with a mission of fighting ugly lessers. In every installment one of them is paired with an appropriate love interest a.k.a a worthy female, Wrath being the first victim…er…happy bride groom of the aforementioned pairing.

All the characters share several tell-tale traits – for example every single one of males is handsome and muscled (actually let me quote one of the novels to make my little review more colourful: ‘built like a brick shithouse’ and ‘hung like a Louisville Slugger’ was the actual description) but also in some way conflicted, with shadows in their past (in other words pop psych at its finest). At first it might seem an interesting idea but after two-three books you find you have to stifle a yawn or two, so similar to each other they all seem. Also every one of these ‘worthy females’ is invariably pretty, kind, curvaceous, young and honorable. Damn it, even intelligent. They might behave sometimes like a skunk but only with their ‘chosen one’ so it remains more or less acceptable.

Well, it is a world where you recognize your second half instantly and without any necessary hassle and once you fall in love, you stay in love no matter what. Vampires dress well in brand-name clothes and swear like your common–or-garden thug. They tattoo (or rather carve) the name of their beloved on their own backs. If they have sex (and there’s plenty of it) it is always and unvaryingly mind-blowing experience with multiple orgasms and such trifles. Of course, despite being kick-ass, as-hard-as-nails, tough-and-rough, leather-clad professionals every single one of them has that white fluffy bunny buried deep inside. Who can find the bunny? Who can make a big, muscled macho vampire snuggle and moan and lick your metaphorical shoes, all sappy and soft, while proposing on his knees or on all fours or on his back, with all limbs flailing about, his position completely depending on your mood and preferences? You guessed it – a worthy female, the one and only.

 If there are any problems in this vampire paradise you get Her Holiness Scribe Virgin - an entity who is neither a virgin (she has a vampire son and daughter!) nor a scribe but a deus-ex-machina solve-it-all fairy godmother of the scarier kind. Add to that blend a bit of family drama, bad childhood memories, feminist whiffs and some unpleasant torture – the parts of particular vampires’ past experiences – and you get in a nutshell what this series is about. Artificial as hell and sweet as glucose-fructose syrup. If you swaped these heroes and heroines with, say, My Little Ponies, nobody would notice.

 Rubik's cube  (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There is of course a lot of steamy scenes during which male parts and female parts are getting closely acquainted, no inhibitions. It is a paranormal romance, very close to paranormal erotica after all, right? Insta-lust and insta-attachment seem to be two virulent diseases plaguing these stories – as soon as a male or a female gets a whiff of their future mate they are in a constant hormone overdrive mode and you can be sure: in the end every Jim will get his Jane, no matter what obstacles are thrown their way and they will remain blissfully happy, like ‘a Rubik's Cube solved (another quote - isn't the writing style lovely?). The syrupy sweet ending is one of the features the readers of such novels are expecting, actually one of the most important reasons they  buy and devour those books with a notorious regularity of a sugar junkie.

There have been ten books published so far and there will be two more. I really can't help thinking that it speaks volumes about the state of the publishing business and not exactly kind words, mind you.
Junk food literature, nothing else. Well, if you need a nice piece of junk food from time to time who is to say you can’t have it? And who is to judge you? Not me.

Bon appétit or tuck in! In my case, however it was...

Review: Strong Enough to Love (Jackson #1.6) by Victoria Dahl

Synopsis:
USA TODAY bestselling author Victoria Dahl delivers sassy and sexy contemporary romance in a new series set in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Get a taste with this novella, Strong Enough to Love....

Photographer Eve Hill was completely comfortable being single. Or at the very least, she was completely resigned to it. There was only one man who made every nerve in her body and brain light up when he walked into a room. But Brian Stewart had always been off limits. Hell, she'd never even kissed him!

For Brian, returning to Jackson Hole feels like coming home. But that has nothing to do with the town. It's Eve drawing him back. Eve and the chance to finally see if they have something or if it's all been in his imagination.

Eve doesn't think she can open her heart to Brian again after getting hurt so badly before, though her body still wants him. She offers Brian one night to fulfill their long-denied fantasies, and that's it. No love or promises, just a chance to get their attraction out of their systems. But can one night really be enough?

Return to Jackson Hole for more steamy romance by Victoria Dahl in Close Enough to Touch, Too Hot to Handle and So Tough to Tame.



It started out so well. Dahl painted the picture of Eve and her life and slowly eased in the tropes. I liked that they’re an older couple, closer to forty than twenty.

And then I started feeling sorry for the throwaway suitor, Mitch, who could never compete with Eve’s one true love or have the Chemistry with her that Brian has. Except that Mitch was the decent, loveable guy who didn’t stalk Eve, break her heart and storm back into her life expecting to replace whatever and whoever was occupying it currently. There is or there should be a difference between wearing someone down and pushing too hard.

It’s safe to say I didn’t care for Brian at all.

The ending? It’s the “unbelievable, too fast, miraculous cock cures all” kind.

Maybe this is a good read for those who already are fans of Dahl’s work, but for a casual reader it offers little. It certainly didn’t entice me to read more from her.

Rameau's Review Archive: Unveiled (Turner #1) by Courtney Milan

Rameau's ramblings: After reading Unclaimed and converting Anachronist into a romance reader, I had to hunt down everything Milan had ever published. So far. These days I savour her books instead of devouring them. 

Originally posted on Goodreads September 22nd 2011.

Synopsis:
Ash Turner has waited a lifetime to seek revenge on the man who ruined his family--and now the time for justice has arrived. At Parford Manor, he intends to take his place as the rightful heir to the dukedom and settle an old score with the current duke once and for all. But instead he finds himself drawn to a tempting beauty who has the power to undo all his dreams of vengeance....Lady Margaret knows she should despise the man who's stolen her fortune and her father's legacy--the man she's been ordered to spy on in the guise of a nurse. Yet the more she learns about the new duke, the less she can resist his smoldering appeal. Soon Margaret and Ash find themselves torn between old loyalties--and the tantalizing promise of passion....


Unveiled by Courtney Milan

I'm in no shape to write as comprehensive review as I did for the sequel Unclaimed, mostly because I'm lazy and because this not being one of my few ARCs I don't feel obligated enough. But at the same time I feel like I'm not doing this book justice if I don't.

Courtney Milan can write a romance, again, in the best sense of the word. Her characters while highly sexual beings even in historical setting don't just abandon their morals and jump in the sack at the first opportunity. In fact, I'd be hard pressed to name another author who understands as clearly the need for seducing the mind as Milan does. It's all about showing why these two characters are right for each other and why they should choose each other above everyone else with Milan.

In here, Ash Turner is the epitome of as self-made man. He left home at the age of fourteen to make his fortune and ensure the future of his brothers, in doing so, he sacrificed his relationship with them. Now, it's his turn to exact vengeance on those who wronged him and his family when they were poor and in desperate need of help. But he doesn't know if he can have that revenge without damaging his tenuous connection with his brothers permanently.

Margaret Dalrymple is an innocent victim of Ash's revenge, collateral damage if you will, but she's prepared to fight back. Her only chance is to find some unforgivable flaw in the new Parford heir to reclaim her family's inheritance. The only problem, she finds herself falling for the last man whom she should ever fall in love with.

There are numerous reasons why these two should hate each other and why they should be bitter enemies to the end. There's also that tiny spark that if nurtured correctly can grow into an unquenchable blaze. And that's what Milan does. She introduces that tiny spark of chemistry and attraction and lets it grow into an unforgettable love affair without ever sacrificing the uniqueness of the characters.

I might even like Ash and Margaret more than I did Sir Mark and Jessica, but as a whole, the second Turner book was better paced. This one seemed to drag towards the end only to collect itself at the last minute and finish the race in top three.

Spoilers for Unveiled and Unclaimed both: <spoiler> As much as I enjoyed the Sir Mark seduce the debauched courtesan in Unclaimed, nothing in it came close to the sexiness of Margaret taking that key from Ash and locking them in his bedroom for the night before their planned wedding. </spoiler>


Still, I have a feeling I'm going to like Smite's story the best, he just sounds like my kind of man. Can't wait for Unraveled.

Rameau's Review Archive: Unraveled (Turner #3) by Courtney Milan

Rameau's ramblings: What can I do to help kick off the Romance May? Give you another Milan review! Naturally.

Originally posted on Goodreads December 14th 2011.

Synopsis:
Smite Turner is renowned for his single-minded devotion to his duty as a magistrate. But behind his relentless focus lies not only a determination to do what is right, but the haunting secrets of his past—secrets that he is determined to hide, even if it means keeping everyone else at arm’s length. Until the day an irresistible woman shows up as a witness in his courtroom…

Miranda Darling isn’t in trouble…yet. But she’s close enough that when Turner threatens her with imprisonment if she puts one foot wrong, she knows she should run in the other direction. And yet no matter how forbidding the man seems on the outside, she can’t bring herself to leave. Instead, when he tries to push her away, she pushes right back—straight through his famous self-control, and into the heart of the passion that he has long hidden away…

Unraveled by Courtney Milan

Having read Unveiled and Unclaimed both, I knew what I was getting myself in for. That's why this review is littered with comments about the anxious wait I was made to suffer until self-published Unraveled was released. You'd think the author would have the decency to write something bad to make it up to me, to make my part as reviewer easier, but no. Damn you Milan, how dare you make me love Smite Turner even more than I thought I would? And Miranda Darling and Ghost? How dare you!

Of the three Turner brothers Smite is the most scarred. His skin may be intact, but inside he carries the weight of the water that once nearly crushed and suffocated him. Inside he's an impenetrable fortress that stands alone under the storms of his nightmares. Inside he's cold, but far from dead.

Ghost, the puppy, may have started the thawing, but it takes a blazing sun like Miranda Darling for Smite to forget himself and break the barriers he's erected just to be able to function. For two decades he's spent simply existing, but when Miranda flattens him with few sharp remarks Smite finds himself wanting to live again.

She's naive yet worldly as only a child grown amidst actors can be. She's a survivor, but not hardened through and through. She has a sharp tongue and wicked mind, but she's also loyal and too trusting. She's a ray of sunshine that lights up the room, but will scorch if faced directly. Miranda is just the right woman to get under Smite Turner's skin.

What starts with a lie and on the grimy streets of Bristol, moves to shining marble halls and into a bedroom. While they are discovering new physical boundaries, an unexpected accord forms between the two lovers. Miranda finds herself attracted to a decent man and Smite opens up to her in a way he hasn't been able to do with anyone else.

I could quote the whole book and it would make more sense than this review so far.

What you need to know is that Smite is a diligent magistrate in Bristol with an unerring memory. He recognises Miranda and stops her from committing perjury, he also follows her to warn her not to try that particular trick in his court again. What Smite doesn't realise is that Miranda has her own set of problems and very little choice. She's bartered her life and skills to the Patron for personal protection for herself and the boy living with her.

Smite might be able to remove Miranda from the dirty and sooty streets, but he can't free her from her obligations. And here, Milan surprises positively. Instead of hiding her troubles and trying to deal with them by herself, Miranda faces Smite and confides in him risking everything now dear to her. Of course this doesn't stop Smite from reacting rather stupidly, but he has the baggage to excuse it.

Despite the slight feel of repetition in the beginning–which might be because I kept putting the book down and rereading to get where I'd left off–the text carried me through the story like a gentle way pushing me to the shore. The way Milan writes makes days feel like hours and weeks feel like years. By the time I finished reading the last chapter I couldn't believe how far both characters and their extended families had come. It felt like I had read the first pages a lifetime ago instead of few hours.

I know I'm forgetting something important–like the laughs–but for the life of me I can't think of anything else without spoiling the journey. This is the best I can do for a five star review and I know it's not nearly enough.

P.S. If anything, this story shows you how important a comma can be.

Review: The Lion's Daughter (Scoundrels 01) by Loretta Chase

May is going to be a very romantic month on this blog - as we promised you in the previous post there is going to be plenty of reviews covering all kinds of romantic fiction. Let me start with a classic: Loretta Chase and the first part of her 'Scoundrels' series, The Lion's Daughter.

Synopsis:

Varian St George, baron Edenmont, is an English peer who knows Davies and Byron. He is also a handsome, penniless whore, shamelessly sponging money off naïve women whenever he can. A jackal and an opportunist – that’s him. While he was traveling through Italy, seducing different rich and bored wives in order to earn his upkeep, the fate made him accompany a young boy, Percival, for a fee of course, to Albania.

There he meets the love of his life – a scrawny girl with green eyes and a mop of red curls, known as ‘a little warrior’ or ‘the Red Lion’s daughter’. Some people also call her ‘a spitfire’. Her name is Esme and her father, Jason Brentmor, has been just assassinated while in service of the Vizier of Janina, Ali Pasha or so they say. Esme needs a white knight rather badly – another suitor, far less civilized than Varian, is waiting impatiently to wed her and she doesn’t fancy him, not even a bit.

Varian, although hardly as noble as a real knight should be, falls in love, seduces the girl and marries her properly which is like a huge leap of faith for him – Esme is poor as well. Still she has a rich, eccentric grandmother who might or might not provide for the young couple. Unfortunately the old lady is hardly willing to throw good money after bad – and who can blame her? Varian is facing a big challenge : he must try to rescue whatever can be rescued from a shambles called his life and persuade everybody, his young wife and his own family included, that this time he means it. You must admit it is a scarier task than slaying a dragon.

What I liked:

The main heroine, Esme, was a great character. She was intrepid, funny, intelligent and far more independent than your average female romantic interest - a fearless rebel with a tender heart but a temper that runs hotter than fire and her flaming red hair. It always bodes well for a book, romance or not, if I like the main lead so don’t be surprised by the rest of my review : yes, I did like this one, I liked it very much. How not to like a book after reading such a scene?

“Esme’s lips were twitching as she gave the letter back to her grandmother.

“It ain't funny,” the old lady growled.

“Not only amusing but imaginative,” Esme said. “They say I have tattoos on my hands, wear a ring in my nose, and in this garb—and nothing else—I dance lewd dances in your rose garden. By the light of the full moon. Mrs. Stockwell-Hume does not mention my howling at the moon as well, but perhaps her London friends will think of that in time.”

Her beloved Varian wasn’t bad either; as his name, St Georges, indicates, he was simply predestined to save virgins from dragons even if he was the dragon itself. :) Still he will feature in the ‘dislikes’ section as well -  I suppose carping about romantic heroes is my second nature. One thing is sure: I really appreciated the lack of misunderstandings between Esme and Varian. Practically from the very beginning they had a degree of trust, or at least a degree of strength of character that allowed them to put themselves in the other person's shoes and not jump to conclusions about nefarious motivations if anything went wrong.

What I didn’t like:

Here you go. 

Varian was too pretty, too honourable and reformed too fast for an inveterate womanizer, a rake and a coxcomb. If only he was given more time...By the way imagine what Jane Austen would say: a baron, possibly married but with two younger, eligible brothers, is never visited by any of his curious neighbours while reparing the crumbling ancestral  mansion. No curious maiden ever set her foot in the proximity, no hen-pecked husband, forced by his wife to make the acquaintance for the sake of his daughters, called with a visit, no intrepid servant appeared near the Mount Eden estate...was it a desert or an English countryside? It seemed as if the poor man worked in a complete void.

Apart from that the political intrigue in the book  was overdone to the point of being incredibly complex and confusing. I enjoyed Albanians customs but the rest hardly made sense. Fortunately it was also very skippable.

Final verdict:

If you want to read something "mindless" after all the "heavy" stuff you've done recently this is a perfect position. Don't think too much about the plot concerning the politics of the region, focus on relationship and you'll be fine. The humorous parts are quite enjoyable and the book is definitely different, good enough to read at least once.

BTW the other parts of the series were reviewed by me as well: here you can find Lord of Scoundrels and here Captives of the Night  - enjoy!

Romance Novel Plot 101

The beautiful month of May will be the romance month on this blog. We decided to introduce you into the topic in the gentlest way possible.

Have you ever wondered how these romantic books are written? Here you have four fool-proof, failure-proof, completely viable and quite ingenious plot outlines for anything romantic, with  pictures. Yes, the outlines are deliberately biased, ironic and very schematic - let us hope they are also fun! 

ROMANCE NOVEL PLOT 101

OR
everything you would like to know about romance but you are afraid to ask.

ENJOY!

Text by Rameau (mostly), pictures by Anachronist via Google search. Mostly. All rights reserved.

1.Historical:

She's a good girl, he's a duke.
He is a good boy she's a whore.
She has money, he needs a wife. Or the other way round.
Oh, no, did he compromise you?
Poor girl, you must marry him. Poor guy here is the bride.



...and lie together as he has his wicked way with you.

Noble cock cures her reluctance,
just in time for the mistress to saunter in.
Poor girl, you love him, don't you?
Run to your family, your aunt, his mother, a distant childhood confidant.

Nothing will hide your humiliation and shame.
Not when he comes running after you,
for he loves you too.
And that noble cock gave you a viscount on the way. YAY!







2. Contemporary:

She's over men, he's never been into them...
well, other than technically. (See part 4.)

No, he is not ready, his problem is commitment.
She has a cat, a puppy, triplets or all five.
She doesn't have the time, to mend an unbroken... thing.

But they need each other. Fling it is.
Hot and passionate but temporary.


Magic cock, distant relative to Noble cock,
it too cures all ills.
Instantly she wants more.

In the present day, her pesky job,
friends or family,
they'll talk her into marriageable mood.

For a modern woman wants to be a wife,
For a modern man,
always wants what he's denied,
be it commitment, love, or a new babe.
Or a new car. Red preferably.


Er.... babe as in baby not an 18 year old nanny on the side.
Unless, that's how the story started!
Who can say 'no' to a young, plump nanny?






3.Paranormal:

Independent woman needs no man.
Alpha male needs no woman. And yet...and yet...

They somehow land in the same bed and he turns the woman into a female, and sprinkles her with insta lust.

Yes. They're a match made,
in a magicians hat.

Sense it makes not,

but let's kill a few rivaling packs...

Er... maim, to maim is better than to kill.

The damage is more pleasing to the eye.

Let's maim a few villains,
for they will find their fated mates
in their own books of the same series,

soon to be bought in your nearest library.

P.S. Do not forget, that supernatural cock works its magic too!

 4. M/M

A boy meets boy.
He's gay, he's not gay.

He's in the closet, he's gay for you.
They kiss, they clasp hands... and more.
They talk, they have sex.
They walk, they have sex.
They're happy, because double cock wins them all! Have I mentioned sex already? Yeah...

And they lived happily ever after :)

Review: A Short History of Nuclear Folly by Rudolph Herzog

Synopsis:
In the spirit of Dr. Strangelove and The Atomic Café, a blackly sardonic people’s history of atomic blunders and near-misses revealing the hushed-up and forgotten episodes in which the great powers gambled with catastrophe. Rudolph Herzog, the acclaimed author of Dead Funny, presents a devastating account of history’s most irresponsible uses of nuclear technology. From the rarely discussed nightmare of “Broken Arrows” (40 nuclear weapons lost during the Cold War) to “Operation Plowshare” (a proposal to use nuclear bombs for large engineering projects, such as a the construction of a second Panama Canal using 300 H-Bombs) . . . Herzog focuses in on long-forgotten nuclear projects that nearly led to disaster.

Translated by Jefferson Chase.

"The problem, both in the West and behind the Iron Curtain, was a lack of imagination. No one was able to picture the worst-case scenario."

That was fun. Slightly preachy, but it comes with the territory of stating the obvious about dire things that threaten life on earth. Also, the author—or translator—likes to use the word ironically quite a lot which makes things a lot less ironic. This could have been an intentional choice considering the subject matter.

Herzog starts with a short personal history and an explanation. This book isn’t about the most well known nuclear events in our history—Hiroshima and Nagasaki are mentioned in passing only—but about the lesser known chain(s) of events that led humanity to where we are now.

He talks about German scientists who were high currency in the nuclear game between superpowers before and after World War II. He talks about centrifuges, disasters and cleanups, the myth of tactical nuclear weapons, one man’s obsession, and nuclear tests in Australia as well as in Alaska. He talks about inhumane tests done in the name of medical science. The evolution of nuclear power and lost nuclear warheads are mentioned as well.

But what I found most fascinating weren’t the obvious problems with nuclear power—there’s waste, lots of it, and its half-life is 80 million years—or the ethical questions that come with it, nor was I particularly enthusiastic to read about the doomsday machines. No, it was the pacemakers.

Nuclear powered pacemakers. No need for battery changes!

Tiny problem is what happens after you’re dead. How do the authorities keep track of those plutonium batteries and do they end up in cemeteries or perhaps burning the back of an unfortunate orderly carrying a bin bag to trash. Oh, wait, that was the other interesting story. What happens when a company, a hospital acts responsibly but the government authorities do not? Four people die and hundreds suffer from radiation poisoning. And the death toll is relatively low thanks to an enterprising physicist.

I am somewhat familiar with the subject but people who hated sciences in school shouldn’t be afraid to read this book. There are a very few technical details and those that remain in the book are only there to further illustrate the historical context of each nuclear folly.

Because this book is more about the history and human stupidity when it comes to taking responsibility for scientific breakthroughs and how they're applied. This book is about the dangers of letting military prioritise between human lives, nature, and fleeting glory in battle. Or worse than that, not even a victory in an actual battle, just a show of strength.

To learn from your mistakes or the mistakes of others, you must first study history.