The Hermetica of Elysium by Annamarie Banks

This book was provided by the author's publisher via my lady Blodeuedd's excellent blog in return for an honest review. I haven't been compensated for writing the said review in any way and the fact that the book came free of charge didn't influence me either. 

Book info:

Publisher: Knox Robinson Publishing
Pages: 400
To Be published: December 8 2011

Form: e-book, pdf format

Genre: historical fantasy, adventure, hermetical

Target audience: YA and adults alike

Synopsis (starting with a quote):

  

“Other shining, untarnished minds have come before us, lighting this path to understanding. But the sword of fear and ignorance has cut down their mortal forms, dissolving them as time does to all of us, to dust. Yet, their minds remain on paper. Their thoughts come to us in ink and parchment, packaged in tiny receptacles of light and wisdom.”

Spain, the dark years of Inquisition led by Torquemada. Nadira, a young Muslim slave girl and her owner, Sofir, a rich Spanish converso (so a Jew who conversed to Christianity) are one night accosted by some sailors (or rather pirates). These men ask specifically for Nadira; they brought with them a dying young man, which had been beaten by them to almost death. They think he doesn’t understand Spanish so they make Nadira speak her native Arabic to make him divulge his secret – the location of a certain book. The man is obstinate and doesn’t tell them anything so, after more beating, they leave him with Sofir, thinking he is dead. And he indeed dies after one more day but he also reveals to Nadira that a man named Henry has the book. He implores the girl to tell that to his little brother, Robin. Why was that book, any book in fact, worth such a sacrifice, though? Where is that Robin? One of these questions is solved very quickly.

Robert Longmoor, Baron Montrose of Scotland visits Sofir to collect the body of his elder brother, tortured to death. As he can’t read , he takes Nadira with him by force - she is fluent in several languages and he must find his brother’s book and read his letters. Although the girl remains a captive, her new master treats her with kindness and dignity. Because of him Nadira gets involved in a chain of adventures that exceeds her all expectations…she becomes important to many curious, rich and ruthless people. Will she find a worthy place in the world or remain the plaything of the powers that be? Will her strengths prevail over her weaknesses? What will she learn? Will Robert survive?

What I liked:

-          The subject matter - it is about a hermetical book for heavens’ sake!!! A very old book from Egypt, written in several languages, most probably an ancient text, coveted by many alchemists! How not to adore such a premise? It reminded me of The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco, one of my all time favourites! In fact I suppose the idea of an edible book was taken straight from that novel! Still I didn’t mind – not at all!

-          The narration was quick-paced and as lively as I like. The book managed to keep me interested till the very end.

-         Plenty of knights in their prime, one pretty girl and no insta-love! No insta-lust either! A love triangle? Absent again! Well done and, as you see, it can be done!

-         A kick-ass heroine who is not only of Arab descent but also, despite being a slave, doesn’t want to follow her mother’s fate and remain despondent all her life; she takes difficult decisions but never ones which would be too stupid for her to live. By the way usually in such books  it is a Saracen master and a Christian slave; here we have an Arab girl,  a Jewish master and a Scotsman…not bad!

What I didn’t like:

-         In short small inconsistencies. They can ruin even the best premise for me. For example the main heroine, Nadira, once states that she wants to return home to Morocco and several pages later she says ‘to Marrakech’. I am not sure whether they were known by their contemporary names in the 15^th century. Oh well, you know me…incurably anal…

-         It is not a flaw but it bugged me: Richard Longmoor was a kind of prominent scholar while his younger brother, Robert, couldn’t read an write at all…correct me if I am mistaken but if you were a Scottish laird who decided to spend some hard-earned coin on exclusive education, hiring a private tutor in the shape of a monk, you would make sure both of your precious sons got at least some basic schooling… I would understand if Robert knew ‘only’ Latin or ‘only’ Old French/Norman but the fact that he could barely sign his own name and couldn't read in any language left me perplexed…what did young Master Robin do when Richard had his lessons? Chased skirts? Shot crows? How come his father didn’t intervene?

-    I would wish for some three-dimensional baddies...

Final verdict:

Despite some quibbles I did enjoy this book and I would love to read the second part of this series. Alchemy gives me always a powerful tug and this book was based on some alchemical texts...how could I resist it?

Image via Wikipedia

Review: Soldier (Duke’s Obsession 02) by Grace Burrowes

Book info:

Form: e-book, Kindle format

Genre: historical romance

Target audience: adults 

Why I read it:

Oh, really mum, not my fault, not at all. Bad influence, nothing less, that's the beginning and the end of it. First I've seen a very good review, written by Blodeuedd, and got curious...then I decided to start the series in the middle, exactly as Melissa (BaT). Oh well...

Synopsis:

 The titular soldier, Devlin St. Just, is an illegitimate son of a duke and a retired English colonel, lately returned from the Iberian Peninsula war .Well, illegitimate or not, every Austen heroine would drool over him and their mamas would be plotting a whole campaign worth at least two Bonapartes and one Nelson to have him as their son-in-law. He is handsome and well-conected and evidently single and you know these country matrons, ferocious and cunning like hell. He was granted a title and an estate in Yorkshire. Unfortunately the estate is neglected and with it come other duties as well – like taking care of another illegitimate child, sired by the previous owner - it is an unruly little girl called Bronwyn (Winnie) living in a cottage with her cousin, Emmeline (Emmie) Farnum. 

 Well, Emmie needs taking care of as well but her problems are a bit different- she is a 25 years old spinster who earns her living by baking bread and pastries for the local community. However the same people who order her tasty buns and cakes ostracize her for being, like Winnie, a child born on the wrong side of the blanket. Actually women in her family have a bit of reputation and Emmie is anxious that Winnie, when older, might be tarred with the same brush. When St. Just clearly won over by the child's innocent charm, offers to take care of Winnie, it seems like an excellent idea. Even the most excellent ideas can backfire, though. Will Emmie be prepared for unexpected complications in her life?

  

What I liked:

Grace Burrowes is an award-winning romance writer. I am happy to say all of these awards have actually been well-deserved. Like in the case of books penned by another clever romance-writing lady, Courtney Milan, here we have an actual plot. It might be not exactly a maddeningly brilliant one but it can engage a reader pretty efficiently and I admit Ms. Burrowes develops it with more intelligence and wit than an ordinary romance book writer. Well done!

The whole narration is turning around Devlin, Emmie and Winnie, her underage charge. Devlin is handsome, strong, brave, caring and soft-hearted; a great friend, brother and lover; Emmie is a warm, hard-working country girl who knows how to take care of herself and hers; Winnie is a mischievous, precocious but troubled child who has yet to learn who to trust and likes wandering on her own. As the narrative develops you find out that that trio really complement each other. Burrowes also deftly handles their relationships with the secondary characters - the friendship between Devlin and Douglas, Lord Amery, between Devlin and Hadrian, the local vicar and Emmie’s admirer, between Emmie and Hadrian and the loving relationship between Devlin and his brother, Valentine. Building these bonds was a real strength of this book.

The main hero, Devlin, is a huge asset - in fact the biggest one - of this book. A former soldier, he suffers of severe PTSD and he struggles day in day out to stay more or less normal, sober and responsible. It is 19^th century so nobody even thinks of providing any treatment for veterans like him. It is a very poignant fight, especially that we get some glimpses of close-to-reality war atrocities as he reminisces about Napoleonic wars – Devlin’s version of events is not sugarcoated by patriotic dross or any other propaganda and I enjoyed it very much. He admits to many crimes which in times of peace would earn him the capital punishment and during war brought him orders for services and admiration of his general and underlings. He is bitter, angry and horrified by the same time – he fears he turned from a soldier to a killer – in other words a fully-fledged character, as multi-faceted as you like.


What disturbed me a bit:


One negative remark and connected to history so pertinent to the book I suppose - I really don't know whether the author was aware of the fact that her sympathetic hero shares his name with one of French Revolution leaders - Louis Antoine Léon de Saint-Just, often called only Saint-Just. It wasn't a nice guy - neither saint nor just. It's enough to say he was the closest confidant of Maximilien Robespierre and served with him as one of the commissioners of the powerful  but notorious Committee of Public Safety. Like his fictional counterpart, Delvin, he was also a skillful soldier - dispatched to the army during its rocky start in the French Revolutionary Wars, Saint-Just imposed discipline that was stunningly severe but he was widely credited for the army's subsequent success. In the capital, he supervised the arrests and prosecutions of many of the most famous figures of the Revolution, spearheading the movement to execute King Louis XVI. Ultimately Saint-Just himself was arrested in the violent episode of 9 Thermidor and executed the next day with Robespierre. By that time his cruelty had earned him general hatred. Every time I read "St. Just" I had to shake my head and remind myself it wasn't the French Saint Just I was reading about. I know, it is not really a flaw and it might concern nerds only but still...Ok, the history lesson is over, time for some entertainment.

Titillating factor:

Sex scenes are described in minute detail – limbs, smells, sights and sounds. It is definitely adult stuff but nothing out of ordinary for readers of romantic fiction. Romance with Emmie is soothing Devlin’s nerves and other urges as well ;) so he indulges himself. Not to mention the fact that Emmie keeps him well-fed and vigorous. Definitely hot even if a bit fluffy book. Well, the cover is the best proof I suppose. I hate it.

What I didn’t like:

My first complaint - the ending. Everything was just a tad too perfect. All problems of the main characters – miraculously solved. In other words a HEA ending – inevitable and clearly visible, even from afar. I would welcome some change and, whereas theoretically, I have no objection to HEA as such (THEORETICALLY I said!), I would like the ending to be a little bit ambiguous, with more bitterness and grit mixed in. What’s more I think the author overused insignificant secrets simply to prolong the story – it was really frustrating especially as the mystery was pretty easy to solve almost from the beginning. As I've already mentioned mystery, let's progres to my biggest gripe.

The love interest of Devlin, Emmeline Farnum is a stupid, vapid cock tease of a woman. As you see, she simply wore on my nerves, that lady did. Firstly she was so hung up on her ‘secret’ that it made her the most infuriating romance character I’ve met so far. Ok, perhaps at the beginning she had a very good reason to hide her unsavoury past from Devlin but, after all, things between them progressed pretty quickly and she found out some of his secrets very early on. It seems, however, she has never heard of an honest exchange of information and/or trust-building. She lied through her teeth most of the time, allegedly for the greater good of her juvenile charge, and then cried bitterly over her own shortcomings but didn't stop lying anyway. Some consistency, please? You can't have PMS all the month darling so take your pick. 

Secondly, she was also that type who wants to eat a cake, have a cake and, most possibly also sell a cake to her neighbour. Well, what would you think of a woman who initiates sex and the next day she is really inconsiderate and angry about it (it happens almost every time they go to bed) because, well, she shouldn't have done it and oups, she did it again and she enjoyed herself but hey, she shouldn't have done it and oups she did it again... At the end I started to wonder what the hell Devlin saw in her at all. Certainly not her brains. Well, who needs a romantic fiction heroine with brains - is she a zombie or what? ;) I bet in real world a man would grow suspicious of her and would stop believing her pretty soon. It would serve her right.

The last complaint - Devlin is actually interested in cooking to the point that he can quote complicated recipes from memory. Who is he supposed to be, a nineteenth century version of Jamie Olivier? I found it rather difficult to swallow especially that before Emmie appeared on the horizon he had never been shown cooking on his own. In fact, I can hardly imagine an officer perfecting his amazing apple tart with cinnamon in the free time between a cavalry charge, killings and a bit of rapine. A major snort…

Final verdict:

This was an easy read with a typical “he wants her/she pulls away/they have secrets” plot but definitely better than ordinary romance. The surrounding characters were fun and the ending – satisfactory if you like those syrupy HEAs. I started in the middle of the series, unsure about the writing skills and the palatability of the whole book but I suppose I will read the other two installments as well. Consider it the highest of praise. ;)

Guest review: Breathless by Lurlene McDaniel, written by rameau

Hello everybody, I have a treat for you today.
Please welcome very warmly rameau, who kindly agreed to
publish her last review on my blog. Her reviews might be also found on other blogs and on Goodreads of course. In my humble opinion they are definitely worth reading.




Ok, let me present the book in question:


Target group: YA and older people as well (approximately 12+)
Genre: contemporary fiction
Hardcover: 165 pages
Publisher: Delacorte Books for Young Readers; 1 edition (May 12, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 038573459X


Synopsis (from Goodreads):
What is the toughest request anyone can be asked to fulfill?
Travis Morrison is a champion diver and one of the most popular kids at school. On the first day of summer vacation, while boating on the lake with his friends, Travis attempts a silly stunt dive that goes wrong. He fears he has broken his leg. Instead, his trip to the hospital reveals he has a rare form of cancer, and to save him, the doctors tell his parents they must amputate. In an instant, Travis’s life and the lives of everyone around him are forever changed. 

Travis is determined that he and only he should decide the course of his life. He has a plan, but he can’t carry it out alone. Will he convince one of his friends to fulfill his most important request? 

Lurlene McDaniel tackles a controversial subject, probing the issues of personal choice and quality of life.

This is how I think about my life: Before I got sick, endless possibilities. After? No possibilities.

Travis has his whole life ahead of him, then he doesn't. A broken leg starts a vicious cycle of hospitalisation, out patient treatment, pain, medication, remission, and relapse. Pain changes him. It changes the people around him. It changes everything.

There's a lovely author's note in the beginning to warn those who find the word euthanasia a trigger. I for one would have loved to read this story without knowing the outcome. I would have liked to have been brought to the conclusion silently, surreptitiously. I would have liked to have been convinced despite my reluctance. 

I guess that's the problem. I never was reluctant. I can understand wanting pain to end, wanting to choose that moment for themselves, I can understand choosing dignity. I was a convert, before the preaching started. 

That just leaves the delivery itself for me judge. 

McDaniel chose four alternating first person present voices to tell this story. I can see why she would want to make the voices and feelings of Travis' sister, girlfriend, and best friend as strong as his. His illness doesn't just concern him, it affects everyone around him differently. I can also understand—now that I've read the ending—why the author would want to fade away all differences between those different voices, but it doesn't help when I'm in the middle of the story and have to turn back pages just to see and remember who is talking. Was it Travis or Emily talking to Darla? The girls are talking about Travis but is this his sister or girlfriend? So, yes, I can understand the value of the ambiguity. I just hate when it's used to justify gimmicks. 

This also might be part of the preaching to the choir effect, but I didn't find the storytelling particularly poignant. The closest I came to tears was when Coop casually accepted his lot in life, not when Travis was ready call it quits. 

Thanks a lot, rameau, it was my pleasure! Now what do you think of the subject matter of this one? I found it difficult but interesting.

Friday Flash Fiction

Amy C at Romance Book Wyrm and Dottie atTink's Place have come up with the idea for a Monday Morning Flash Fiction challenge. Each Monday a new picture prompt will be posted and if you choose to participate - you publish your Fiction Flash  on Friday - 350 words, give or take. Here is the picture posted this Monday:

I am a bit ill so it will be a very quick flash and unrelated to the previous story. I am sure some people are grateful for that ;).

Peace and quiet. Finally. The storm which had broken seven days ago and raged ceaselessly over the island quieted on the eighth day in the morning. Exactly as she had predicted. Too bad nobody wanted to believe her. They never listened. They had to die.

The bodies of people and animals, houses reduced to heaps of debris, furniture, everyday objects and tools - all of it was swept into the sea. The island was clean and naked because even most of bigger plants weren't able to withhold the raw force of the storm, apart from several young, pliable tekka trees which grew around the temple. She was sitting beneath one of them, exhausted but alive, with last flowers she could find in her hand. She positioned herself exactly in the middle of the circle, looking at the shiny, silvery full moon and the sea, so beautiful, now, aquamarine and enticing, its surface almost smooth with just little cute wavelets. A beast pretending to be a tame, playful kitten. She knew plenty about the deception. People used to prentend around her a lot. She smiled.

Knowing the future and also your own fate had good and bad side. Disadvantages were insignificant but  numerous and painful, like small sharp stones in your sandal. If you were a gifted seer you had to be careful while speaking to the others. People usually didn't appreciate the truth, especially if they could do nothing to change it. As a born seer, she had been compelled to tell only the truth. Accordingly, she had been meeting with ridicule since she started to remember anything.

Women on this island were known as chatterboxes but she rarely indulged in such luxury, even as a child.  Still people resented the fact that she knew more about them than even themselves. They used to throw dung and stones at her. They used to call her names, spit with disgust at the mere sight of her, turn around and walk away as soon as they got a glimpse of her white robe. She never had friends and didn't know her own family - her mother disowned her right after the birth, horrified at the mere prospect of bringing up a seer. Even her fellow priestesses avoided her company as if she was a leper. Her presence, although forced by gods, was barely suffered. She scared visitors away; as a result the whole temple has been impoverished. Nobody liked being made poorer.

 One big advantage was the lack of sorrows; if not for the voice telling her two steps in advance, assuring her the ordeal was temporary only, she would have ended her life many years ago. However, when you are sure what will happen, there is no need to choose your options or dither about anything. She knew she would be taken, collected like a sun-ripened fruit after the end of all life, by a divine messenger from the sea. She knew there would be a disaster of massive proportions and then she will be rewarded. She tried to warn others against her better judgement - in vain. What has to happen, will happen. Now she knew she should wait - just a little bit longer. The moon seemed to smile at her - finally one friendly face around.

Review: India Black and the Widow of Windsor (Madam of Espionage 02) by Carol K.Carr

Synopsis:

When Queen Victoria attends a rigged psychic séance, the spirit of her departed husband, Prince Albert, insists that, contrary to her habitual routine, she should spend Christmas at their Scottish home in Balmoral. It seems the old Vicky simply cannot say no to her husband, departed or not. The former Prime Minister Disraeli suspects he knows a reason of the whole request - the Scottish nationalists plan to assassinate the Queen on their home turf. Of course not having any proof he can’t even dream of stopping the Queen; instead he sends the ever resourceful India, disguised as a maid of an old Marchioness of Tullibardine, and the handsome British spy, French, to the Scottish highlands.

After the events of the previous novel, India Black has gone back to her life as the proprietor of a brothel but her life has suddenly become insufferably boring. When the British spy, known to her as French, comes calling and tries to recruit her for a new mission, India jumps at the chance no needing any persuasion or blackmail.

French will take the high road, looking for a traitor among the high-born guests, pretending to be a swashbuckling secretary of Disraeli, and India will take the low road, looking closely at other servants in case an assassin is hiding among the staff. They are joined by Vincent, who will support French working as his valet and stable boy. Soon enough two suspicious incidents make India and her companions certain that someone at Balmoral is determined to make this Her Majesty's last Christmas...but who?

What I liked:

The whole book was more a comedy than a sleuth or adventure novel. I loved the beginning but I regretted we didn’t see that false psychic (is there a true psychic out there?) and her daughter again. Like the first part of this series, reviewed by me not so long ago, the story is told once again from India’s point of view so of course it is snarky and entertaining.  India suffers greatly helping the old Marchioness survive the royal festivities without killing herself during the meals (poor sight makes the old lady kind of accident-prone to say the least of it) but, after some time, she grows to like the old biddy more and more, especially that she seems to have more wits than her temporary maid. Also the portrayal of Queen Victoria, John Brown, Benjamin Disraeli and various other historical personages was hilarious although perhaps a bit skewed. Well, we get it from India’s perspective and she is hardly an apologist of the aristocracy or the Queen.

The cover is, once again, lovely. These colours...

What I didn’t like:

In my humble opinion the first part, despite its plot incongruities, was better, fresher, more funny and edgy. This one was a disappointment - we are offered a watered-down version of old India and the plot didn't improve, making the whole novel definitely aimed more at YA audience than adults. Well, the personality of India and her blunt honesty was the feature which appealed to me the most from the very beginning. Here you can almost forget that you are dealing with a ‘madam’, an owner of a house of disrepute and a former hooker of the most common sort. In other words India is too sanitized, never revealing her skills, sometimes behaving more like a debutante during her first season than a pro, as if her creator temporarily forgot who and what this woman was supposed to be. She just talks. Empty vessels make most sound – that’s how I felt about her.

The worst damage was done to the character of Vincent – a streetwise urchin from the previous part with personal hygiene issues but great thieving and investigative skills. Here he was reduced to a mere accessory. I resented it very much. Such a waste…and it’s not the end of my carping.

One of the underlying themes of the book is not to underestimate women. A fine conception per se but, unofrtunately, flying in the face of India’s low opinion about her own employees or prospective employees (‘she is stupid and pretty – she would be a good whore’) and other females in general. It was a bit galling, taking into account India's past. What’s more, India’s sleuthing efforts didn’t present her in a good light either – in this book she is deceived too many times while solving a quite simple mystery; the perpetrator could be guessed easily (well, I am not a great thinker but I had a very precise opinion who might be the hidden nationalistic murderer already in the middle of the first part of the novel…and I guessed correctly – cherchez la femme!)

 Mr. French didn’t improve either – instead of character building we got just some hints that he might have a family (like a wife, perhaps also children). It didn’t warm me up to that gentleman and even India, although supposedly falling for his charms, didn’t feel any strong compulsion to find out more about him. Yes, she still doesn’t know his first name although allegedly just because she loves teasing him about it. By the way as the old Marchioness dropped some interesting remarks so perhaps India is going to find out more about her mother soon. Like in the next book. While I am extremely curious how a woman like India became a prostitute I think the author is just fishing for more interest, teasing the readers, promising a good story and more fun... in the future. I am not fond of such teasers, clearly aimed at making you order/buy the next installment, and, to be absolutely truthful, I don't believe in such promises. I fear a big disappointment unless Ms. Carr returns to the style and rough honesty of her first novel.

Final verdict:

India Black and the Widow of Windsor might be an entertaining read but it doesn't change the fact that it is a novel of middling quality, veering towards the YA market too much for my taste. I wasn’t thrilled by India’s or French’s portrayals in this one and also the ending seemed to me cheap and anti-climatic. I am not sure I would like to buy/read the next installment unless I see some good reviews… 

Queen Victoria and Disraeli via Wikipedia

Tuesday Intros # 02

This meme is hosted by Diane at Bibliophile-by-the-Sea

Encouraged by my friend Tracy's excellent blog I decided to try a new meme which is a variant of teasing tuesday but with more text.

 Would you buy/ borrow/read a novel which starts like this? Would you find such an introduction interesting or rather repulsing? It is the first paragraph from "Wolf Hall" by Hilary Mantel. 

Cover of Wolf Hall

‘So now get up.’

Felled, dazed, silent, he has fallen; knocked full length on the cobbles of the yard. His head turns sideways; his eyes are turned towards the gate, as if someone might arrive to help him out. One blow, properly placed, could kill him now.

Blood from the gash on his head – which was his father's first effort – is trickling across his face. Add to this, his left eye is blinded; but if he squints sideways, with his right eye he can see that the stitching of his father's boot is unravelling. The twine has sprung clear of the leather, and a hard knot in it has caught his eyebrow and opened another cut.

‘So now get up!’ Walter is roaring down at him, working out where to kick him next. He lifts his head an inch or two, and moves forward, on his belly, trying to do it without exposing his hands, on which Walter enjoys stamping. ‘What are you, an eel?’ his parent asks. He trots backwards, gathers pace, and aims another kick.

Quite impressive bit of child abuse, don't you think? I know it is more than one paragraph but I couldn't restrain myself. What a start of a career...

Monday Can Be Fun (but usually isn't) # 3

Hi everybody!

It's Monday, how are you? 

Excuses for Monday Morning

• If it is all the same to you, I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.
• I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday, and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e*log(pi) clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.
• My stigmata's acting up.
• I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?
• I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet...
• I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant.
• Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Hoyas, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.
• Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.
• I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.
• The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.
• The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet. In fact I am not sure whether it was my dog or my cat. I think I must take both of them along. The vet will decide.
• My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should suffice.
• I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian so, technically, it is not Monday.
• I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.
• I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.
• This Monday I prefer to remain an enigma.

Have a lovely week!


pst, pst...what's your fav excuse?